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9/7/03 08:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
minervasoloI worked myself into such a state last night! Didn't sleep til past 2 am. I kept thinking I'd come on here and vent, and naturally, I'm now glad i didn't.
Whiny, self-indulgent rant, it would have been. These things tend, luckily, to strike me once I'm in bed. As I was thinking at the time: just because Im in a bad mood, doesn't make it any less true. Which is right, but when i'm in a good mood I have a modicum of sense and I'm not likely to go off on a rant about how I'd rather all my friends hated me so I didn't have to deal with them and how they're mostly 'high maintenance', except they never act that way, they just mope.
So, yeah, people falling out tends to have this effect, and I'm still glad the end of term is near, but the desire to make people feel guilty and sorry for me is gone, because I don't deserve it. Basically, everyone has a lot of shit to deal with right now, and i don't. occiosnally I convince myself I do, since technically various situations bear a similarity to mine, but I'm not that fussed, whereas everyone else is. It doesn't bother me that the people I fancy don't fancy me, and that they have no problem starting long discussions with me about who they do fancy. Too used to it, I guess.
All just so emotionally draining, you know? Except, then I go and get all emotional, so I guess not. And less than six hours sleep? Oh boy ^_^ If people fall out today, I may well give them a piece of my mind. I'm lad I don't go in first thing, so people have a chance to make up before I get there.
two days to go. Two days to go... Except, since I'm not intending to turn up on Friday: one day to go, one day to go...
ttfn
Whiny, self-indulgent rant, it would have been. These things tend, luckily, to strike me once I'm in bed. As I was thinking at the time: just because Im in a bad mood, doesn't make it any less true. Which is right, but when i'm in a good mood I have a modicum of sense and I'm not likely to go off on a rant about how I'd rather all my friends hated me so I didn't have to deal with them and how they're mostly 'high maintenance', except they never act that way, they just mope.
So, yeah, people falling out tends to have this effect, and I'm still glad the end of term is near, but the desire to make people feel guilty and sorry for me is gone, because I don't deserve it. Basically, everyone has a lot of shit to deal with right now, and i don't. occiosnally I convince myself I do, since technically various situations bear a similarity to mine, but I'm not that fussed, whereas everyone else is. It doesn't bother me that the people I fancy don't fancy me, and that they have no problem starting long discussions with me about who they do fancy. Too used to it, I guess.
All just so emotionally draining, you know? Except, then I go and get all emotional, so I guess not. And less than six hours sleep? Oh boy ^_^ If people fall out today, I may well give them a piece of my mind. I'm lad I don't go in first thing, so people have a chance to make up before I get there.
two days to go. Two days to go... Except, since I'm not intending to turn up on Friday: one day to go, one day to go...
ttfn
