(no subject)

20/10/05 11:58 am
minervasolo: (Default)
Luch things was great last night. I really wish my sense of smell was up to scratch! Not that's is ever very good, but with a cold I couldn't appreciate the gorgeousness of lush as much as I'd have liked too. The makeover's were fun, and I've now spent £18 on makeup I probably don't need and shall very rarely use, but it's free delivery and all my evening wear is red anyway, so at least it'll match. The eyecream was just soooo pretty! And the lip cream didn't dry out my lips, which makes it fairly unique. I forgot to take the makeup off last night, but it didn't seem to have any ill affects anyway.

Oxtail stew is delicious, we now know, as is chocolate cheesecake (of which Toast got none, coz he was still hiding away in his room not eating). Three cheers to Mike! Starship Troopers is deeply enjoyable trash, with many pretty people involved in sex and violence and cgi, and some really snarky satirism.

Today, we are meant to be having a carpet fitted. By which I mean today, we got a phone call maybe five minutes after two members of the household left for lectures and the other two were still in bed, telling us the fitters weren't coming at lunch time, they were coming in fifteen minutes. Leaped out of bed, got dressed, moved small things. Extablished with Mike that sofas were indeed far bigger than doors. Carpet fitters arrives. Said 'you have to take the carpet up for us, we have eight jobs today, we'll come back if we can', which considerng the landlord's wife had already told them we probably wouldn't be ready, was a bit off.

Since then, we now have a nice concrete floored living room, with one lonely seat in it because we quite like being able to move between rooms, a front hall filled with the other seats (it's been great watching Toast nad Ol get home, open the door and stare) and no carpet fitters. We're waitin for thd landlord to call.

... sounds like the landlord might have just come back. Better go check that out.

(no subject)

6/10/05 10:48 am
minervasolo: (Default)
I'm going to be smug for a moment ^_^ The guy who tried to sell me the iPod has since been suspended from eBay for having his account hacked, or missusing it himself. I think I made the right call there!

Olly's mum has gone home now. It's strange, but nice, being alone in the house. Pity the others are coming back so soon! I've learnt many things, I think. A little bit of Greek, for a start, and that I actually prefer cooking in the kitchen to going out, and that Bill Oddie transcends all language barriers. Yay B'loddie! (you know, I used to think his name really was one word). I relearnt that stress and pressure puts me in head-in-the-sand mode, as evidenced by the fact I ignored both my essays and my reading in the name of 'antisocial', yet spent hours online doing much of nothing (and accidentally purchasing iPods).

Print office haven't got back to me yet, so basically I'm sticking everything as is on a disc and turning up. Then to town for things like haircuts, and possibly boots I can't afford but would look gorgeous with my new skirt, and hey, I need more winter shoes since all my trainers are falling apart and so what if I ought to buy hte black ones because those I need for work? ^_^

Lost is evil, and I adore it. I see and love the Charlie/Claire, and now want an icon with "I came off drugs, I can deliver a baby!" on it. The cliffhanger was truly cruel, and makes me appreciate how well made the show is. It may be slow, and formulaic, and they never run out of makeup, and a lot like Gilligan's Island, but there's some sharp marketing minds behind it.

(no subject)

3/10/05 06:53 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
Considering that this really hasn't been a good day at all, I was surprisingly perky throughout almost all of it. Let's face it, when a day starts off with -

"Damn, haven't put the bin out."
::puts bin out::
"Mustn't leave keys in door!"
::takes keys out of door::
"Ooh, I fancy a glass of water before work."
::puts down keys, has drink::
::leaves for work::

- it's not going to be great. I'm really grateful I have Olly's mum here! Like I hoped, she noticed my keys on the side, and let me in when I got back. And, um, I've kinda invited her swimming with us tomorrow, since I felt bad about leaving her behind, and I think she likes swimming (there is swimming in Greece. Near her house. I think). I don't know if she'll want to do aquafit, or just swim for a bit. She'll be fine, I'm sure.

Anyway, locking myself wasn't the only bad thing about my day, just the first. As I said, very perky at work, showing customers around and such. Some issues on the phone (I heard 'Gatesly' instead of 'Yaxley', which is a cool name for a town/village), but mostly good. Pressured a little by supervisor into going to lunch earlier than I would have liked.

So, I nip into Travelling Man to look for Supergirl (just randomly, on the basis of it looked good on scas_daily). As I come in, there's a guy who starts talking to me, while I've still got my headphones in. Says how nice it is to meet people with common interests (It's a comic book shop! There's a fair chance the people you meet there will like comics!) and then starts going on about Wolverine. Now, I've got nothing against Wolverine as a character. I agree, Hugh Jackman did a great job in the film. However, I have fifteen minutes of lunch left, at least five of which go to getting back to work. I'm looking for something. Im not really a sociable person, either. But we chat, and I look at my phone and realise I have 2 minutes left til the end of lunch, I grab something and go to the til, and buy stuff. He comes too, and asks me to wait as he buys something. Starts talking to the guy behind the till about the Wolverine poster. I'm late for work. I make my excuses and scoot.

I don't know why this bothered me as much as it did. I mean, he was a nice guy. Bit of a stutter, but obviously keen to be friendly. I felt bad about legging it like that, but I didn't have a lot of choice. I was getting kinda uncomfortable anyway. I feel like I'm playing to a stereotype here, but I figure that yes, the female market for comics is significantly smaller than the male, and he was probably surprised and pleased to see me there for the same reason her was. And yes, he probably was working up to asking me out or something. I'd be worried he thought I was lying if I said I was taken, and at a guess he was several years older than me anyway. I felt guilty for disappearing like that, and even more so for feeling relieved.

Anyway, that fairly ruined my afternoon, though the confusing mess of stuff didn't help either. One company's not been sending houses out when promised, so we got calls about that, and people wanted wallpaper we didn't have, and my feet really hurt. I did go out and get a swimming costume and an aerial as I had planned to, but I was stressed and edgy all throughout, adding 'what if they're waiting to close' woes to 'I hope Olly's mum will let me in' and 'god, so thristy and kinda cold'. I'm missing 'me' time right now, as evidenced by the sheer volume of commentfic I spent writing yesterday partly to avoid leaving my room, so don't be surprised if I go into complete hibernation soon. I miss having time to write!

(no subject)

7/8/05 10:46 am
minervasolo: (Default)
I really have not been updating often enough. I keep meaning too, like the night after Toast got me drunk and I talked very loudly for a very long time about Batman comics and entirely failed to watch Batman Returns. And I sure some other stuff happened that I meant to post about.

Regardless, yesterday was brilliant. There was work, which is always okay (though I don't get on with one of the other Saturday worked very well; compeltely different personalities). It started with one of the regulars coming in to get stuff to make Gryffindor Common Room. Fair enough! I spent most of the day bagging all the new items, which isn't interesting but keeps me out of the way of the customers. And then my favourite bit! I got to make up a scene in the shop-shadowbox. I got to play!! And then, and then and thenandthen, I got cake!!!

I love my job ^_^

So, after play and cake, I came home to Dalek building (I love my house ^_^ ) and there was food and icecream and AMVs and pub. All in all, a most magnificent day!

I was meant to be doing the tidying up this morning (since I keep missing things like the washing up) but some how it's magically done itself. Or, you know, Toast did, as according to the note he left. I feel all looked after, but also all guilty.

Alas, I am going back to Surrey on Wednesday (not sad for everyone, I know) and going camping on Friday for about a fortnight, which means I won't even see Surrey peoples. I'll miss the departures of all those who are leaving York forever this Summer too :(

Plans for the day: Get dressed. Update many and varied websites. Possibly go and watch anime. Finish tidying my room (things are now sorted into piles on my bed, ready to actually be put away)
minervasolo: (Default)
All the joys of yesterday! Firstly, Sheffield. It rains in Sheffield ^_^ There are also very good bookshops (I now have a new John Wyndham novel and Pompeii by Robert Harris). Also, meat and potato pie for lunch was gorgeous. And there are some very pretty gardens. Still rather baffled by the complete absence of bins at the station though.

Then, Writer's Soc dinner. Very very good Mexican food, then a tub of Ben and Jerry's to myself.

Then the long and amusing walk home. Less amusing at the time, but still. Very much admiration and adoration for Patch and Toast, who were amazing. I'm sorry I wasn't as much help as I ought to have been.

And then, 3AM trolly surfing. Wooo!!!!! Nothing can express my love of 3AM trolly surfing. And much running, which convinced me I'm maybe not as unfit as I thought I was, and filled me chock full of endorphines nad adrenaline just before bed.

And... Photos! We have visual records. I just need to finish off this film now...

Woke up his morning, bright and chirpy, at 8AM. Looked at clock, decided that no matter how bright and chirpy I felt, I wasn't getting up. Repeat at 8:45, 9:45 and 12, though then I did get up. Then spent most of the day watching the first half of Evangelion. Might go back tonight, or early tomorrow morning. It's a 36 hour anime-thon, you see. I'll definitely be there for the rest of Evangelion, no matter what.

And now food, and Toast.

(no subject)

9/3/05 10:35 pm
minervasolo: (detective)
Ah, a reason not to look forwards to Easter. My sister's mates. I've known Ben for years, dated him briefly: he's a complete prtwat. Clo's boyf has just been asking questions I was deeply unimpressed with. I'm still happy with my sister (Happy Birthday to her, coincidentally) but suddenly I can see myself dragging Chris out of the house a lot. I don't like the local pubs, but Clo's mates tend to gravitate to our place and if I have a guest I can't just lock myself in the office. Not that they don't follow me up there and talk to me, failing to get the hint entirely.

My sister's mates, those that visit a lot, are invariably a bunch of useless stoners. Her college friends are fine, but I spent enough of Christmas locking myself away from Ben and co. I'm not a person who likes going out, and I don't particularly want to spend time in a pub surrounded by people my parents' age. I've stopped caring what they think when I go to bed at 10 to avoid them. Now, must find new alternatives. I don't want to hang out with Chris upstairs and have a bunch of stoned prats making stupid comments outside the door. I don't want us to be forced out the house (it's far too expensive). I don't think I want to spend much time with them, no more than one night max.

I am glad I don't live at home any more. It grates. It's nice having good food and easy access to a washing machine and a big selection of DVDs and stuff to watch. I just want to remove everyone else from the scenario ^_^ I get on with my mum, but having moved out I find her more irritating than I used to. I've just got used to my freedom and independence. And having everywhere I want to go in walking distance. That I miss, especially when I want to escape. And having both TV and internet in my room. And my own friends available without forty minute journeys.

Guh. Before I left I was looking forwards to going, but not for any negative reasons. Now it's much easier to find negative reasons not to go back. If people want to see me, they'll just have to visit here.

(no subject)

27/2/05 12:43 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
Yesterday ws most good. And very busy. Got up, went to town, had cake and coffee with Olly and Chris. Had nails done (with Olly, but not Chris), went to work. Met Olly and Chris at work, found Holly and Roz not far. Well, found Roz, and got pounced on by Holly. Had cake and coffee tea. Watched Look Around You and Captain Scarlet (original was better!). Took Holly and Roz to car park and said good bye :( Had bolognaise and cake. Watched Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and From Duck Til Dawn with Olly and Chris. Had loud conversation about vampires. Went to bed (without Olly and Chris).

I've come to realise that I am consistent in at least some things, and Easter is probably going to involved dragging Chris around all sorts of places, often accompanied by Holly and Roz and Tor and everyone else. It'll be exhausting, but fun. And I'm sorry to people that I kept ending up so seperate from you. You need to walk faster!

The word 'boyfriend' is a very strange word. I've used it once or twice, but I can't say I'm comfortable with it. Unfortunately, 'going out' and 'dating' are both also misnomers. I do need to find a new word, because you can't really leave people to figure these things out over the phone when your main method of communication is standing in front of them and kissing a certain bloke occasionally, and mum will probably want to know before we all go home for easter.

Got up at 11 this morning, which is nice. It's a very pretty day outside. I'll be wandeinrg around town shortly, though I really can't be arsed to go and buy food like I ought to. I'm eating out tonight and working tomorrow, so there's no great rush.

Anyway, twas all very nice. Which leaves me half inclined to make a very opinionated post at some point, probably about writing. Just not now.

(no subject)

16/1/05 07:20 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
Yay Hull!

Chris is now toast. Chris is now an as yet undefined sexually explicit act. I drew pictures, with fortunate hat. (have now just noticed double meaning of fortunate...)

Also good about Hull: the complete set of Indiana DVDs for £20, plus Holy Grail for £5 and 28 Days Later for £4. And The Deep, obviously, despite it's lack of Wobbegong. But many large and slow sharks, and urchins with scary eyes, and other such sea-type things. And getting to the station to find we had an hour and forty five minutes before the next train. Ouch.

(no subject)

28/5/04 06:33 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
Last day of college. absolutely shattered. And very full. And a bit headachy, but I'm not sure if that was alcohol or dehydration, because I've been thirsty for most of the day.

Didn't say many goodbies. Chloe A, mostly. See, everyoe I would have made an effort to say goodbye to, I'll see again, and everyone else... well, if they wanted goodbyes they should have hunted me down, i guess.

I'm beginning to think that I have absolutely no apacity for regret. I mean, IT sounded like it would have been okay. Bunch of people there, food, drink, party stuff. And last ever lesson. Didn't go and... Nothing. No preference either way. I could have gone to IT and not been fussed that I missed hanging out with people.

Why did four o'clock take so long to arrive, and yet it's almost half six already? Spent day cutting and sticking and writing. We really need to have a 'book' day at some point. Yes, I am just dragging out this post because this ought to be a memorable day, dammit! I can't just put one paragraph in my memories.

Lunch? I can talk about that again. Two chicken legs, banoffeee dessert and random squeazy juice thing. Bit of cake (Disney princess cake) since James's birthday is soon, nad much feeding of ducks and writing on people. According to neroli: "The ducks are hot." And then when to Anchor, which was expensive and empty and not hugely nice, then wandered up road to Inn on the Lake, where everyone else was. Much nicer. Had Pimms ^_^ Came back about five, since everyone was leaving. That's the thing about everyone elaving college at lunch. You run out of things to do.

So, tonight must record Friends for Clo, who's in PLant now having convinced herself she messed up her Eng GCSE (her first one! Awwww!) and get much sleep. Might even record friends and sleep myself, then watch it tomorrow. This is what nervous-hyperness does to a person, especially when htesun wakes them up at sic. Not designed for seven hours sleep a night!

Books still to do:
Kirsten's (wholy)
Tor's (partly)
Jess's (partly)
Anria's (mostly)

Is that it? Let me know if I missed anyone out.

There now that ought to be long enough to merit going in the memories.

fap fap fap

23/1/04 08:09 am
minervasolo: (Default)
We finally got fandom_wanked. Its not letting me post a comment at the moment, which is irritating. Slightly amused by the fact that apparently no one figured out that we spell Paedophilia differently in England.

"Caveat wanker: this is, for the most part, reasonably well-contained, and actual snarking at each other happens rarely. Still, this is fairly impressive and intricate wankery."

See, that's because we didn't rope anyone in to cry "UR ALL SO EVAL U COCKSUCKING LESBOS AND UR MEEEEEN 2!!11!!eleven11!" We'd have been in f_w in a second if we had done ^_^

Oh good, it finally managed with the comment.

For those here who have no idea what fandom_wank is, it won't appeal ot al, but it does to me. It's that ironic, hypocritical sense of humour. They know they're being nasty. they know they're going to nd up wanking each other and their friends. They don't care because sometimes everyone in stupid, and stupid people can be mocked.


Anyone else here about this 'cold snap' we're supposed to have soon. May go down to as low as -14C. Next Week. When I have to drive to Warwick. And considering what happened to people last year... So I'm slightly freaked by this, but then, recently I've been slightly freaked by everything. Weather and Global Warming have always made me nervous. But hey, going back to college today because I wasn't really that ill anyway, and now my brain has decided it does want to work. Plus, two hour free in the middle of the day.

(no subject)

18/1/04 12:18 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
The beach ^^ Various things happened. I think the most illegal thing we did was light a fire, so my sister is now of the opinion we are incredibly boring people. But it was fun. It was cold and wet and dark and stony and the tide was high and one person locked herself in her car in a strop (and may still be upset on Monday, but oh well) and another person had road rage issues on the way and driving issues on the way back (which we're not allowed to mention because she will get teased ^^ I was half asleep, and then: "What on earth are you doing?") and some people got very very cold (not me!) and we spent the last half hour in a pub with a live band, the lead singer and guitarist of which was a maths teacher at two people's old school. And I like run on sentences ^_^

So, now I can (a) read more trashy vampire fiction or (b) revise for P2 exam. (a) trashy vampires (b) maths revision, (a) trash (b) maths... Or, you know, (c) - spend the entire morning watching Harry play Tomb Raider and then piss about on hte internet for the rest of the day. Oops, seem to have plumped for c. Oh well >_< The maths will happen, i'm sure. I'm slightly irritated at my orgnaisational skills, though, since I have no lesson tomorrow afternoon but have to stay in college because I booked a driving lesson for 4:15. Oh well. I will take website stuff in and play with that all afternoon, I'm sure.

(no subject)

30/11/03 11:55 am
minervasolo: (Default)
I was not drunk last night.

I know I pulled people. I know I flashed people. I know I slut dances with people.

I was not drunk last night.

Why am I advertising that fact?

What I did while I was sober )

(no subject)

18/11/03 08:07 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
Amusing day today. Guy we barely now told us that he was going a fortnight wihtout masturbation, ecause he'd been promised much sex at the end of it. Read us his "Diary of a non-wanker" and his hate list. Entires I can remember include "Welcome to the Orange answerphone service. The person you are calling...", "Ugly people pulling", "people who assume all bisexual people are sluts", "delayed pop up ads" and "Christmas stuff appearing in September"

We're keeping him around. We wanna hear the hate list part two tomororw, for a start! He could be a standup comedian, if he wanted. Ever since Roz and Ben (obligatory Awww!) started going out we've been having random people hanging out with us, which is cool.

And on the flip side of the coin, bloody hospital appointment on Thursday. Curious how Anria, who probably knows more about all this than any other friend, thought when I said internal examination I meant via the gullet. ::bemused::

Doing website building, but getting discouraged by css not working as I want it to. Will fuss about with that later. Updated the unnamed seieres at ff.n, and am about to do so on Fleurs. Meh.
minervasolo: (Default)
It's been an oddly long day. First there was the waiting for Anria to wake up (how come I went to sleep about a hour after her but woke up four hours before?) then going to gford, spending 1/2 hour in library waiting for designated to time to meet mum for lift home, then another 20min wait beause she was late, then a great deal of nothing, then waiting for Roz to dorp by with camping stuff, except she was almost an hour late, then waiting for dinner, then waiting for something decent to appear on tv (and waiting, and waiting, and waiting... let's face it, there's no such thing as something decent on tv these days), then it became now. I've been bored, but I haven't wanted to do anything to alleviate that boredom. It feels like several days have passed, but not in a bad way. I just don't do much of anything over the summer, so it's like everything happened at once, and the day just stretched to accomdate it and my normal 'doing nothing' time.

I got told by a 49 year old Northern bank auditor that he'd been trying, and failing, to get other people interested in some of my original fiction. I'm actually very flattered, it just surprised me when i found out how old her was compared to me. I'm used to ff.n, where nine times out of ten it's a girl in her early teens. And because I feel like it, some shameless self-pro motion: "Another Summer Day", an experiment with telling a story in the second person singluar, and "Temptation Sensation", which has a crap title and doesn't deserve the 18 rating I slapped on it (more of a weak 15, to be quite honest). Be glad I'm only pimping the good ones, and none of the poetry. My writing is far from mainstream (at least that's my excuse), so most of it rarely gets read. Take pity on me?

I can't believe that party was only last night. Actually, I get beleive it was this morning that I was sitting watching trashy oneAM tv with Anria and my sister. Clo got promoted to Corporal last night, so she stayed up to boast to mum. Good for her! I meant to put more about the party in my previous post, but apart from 'guarding' a drunk Anria (not enough alcohol to get me even tipsy, alas) and slutty dancing with multiple other girls, much to the pleasure of the guys, not much happened. I can't help it, i have to be sappy: the best bit of the evening was walking home holding Anria's hand because it was 1AM and there aren't any street lights around here. I've never really held hands with anyone before, not since I was a small kid who ran out onto busy roads unless restrained in that manner. It was nice. ::huggles Anria:: There are things I want to say, but I don't think the words to express them have been invented, so ::huggles:: it is. That's my mood now, and when I think of that whole evening: ::huggles:: Don't worry, i'm not reading too much into anything, it was just very nice. Anria said some very sweet things, and we talked, and it was just all very good.

I've been having mini-mood-swings all day, from happy and warm to grumpy and resentful. If you were to compare the above with a post in my blog (the address of which is knocking about, but I no longer hand out) you'd see what I mean. How much I enjoyed myself at the party seems entirely subjective as to how I'm feeling when describbing it. It's nothing major, just the result of being bored and reading too much. Star Wars, Bill Bryson, the new Anita Blake (found it at the library - better than the last, but still reads like fanfiction of the early books), actual fanficiton... Ah damn, got to write more of that. Only a fool would promise to update a fic every other day. Which fool? This fool.

Why do I always sign off at the ends of posts? I update this thing about twice a day, on average. Sometimes I don't even leave the computer between updates. I suppose it makes it feel more like a real diary, something I have never managed to keep. Anyway, an idiosyncarcy to ponder.


(no subject)

9/7/03 08:19 am
minervasolo: (Default)
I worked myself into such a state last night! Didn't sleep til past 2 am. I kept thinking I'd come on here and vent, and naturally, I'm now glad i didn't.

Whiny, self-indulgent rant, it would have been. These things tend, luckily, to strike me once I'm in bed. As I was thinking at the time: just because Im in a bad mood, doesn't make it any less true. Which is right, but when i'm in a good mood I have a modicum of sense and I'm not likely to go off on a rant about how I'd rather all my friends hated me so I didn't have to deal with them and how they're mostly 'high maintenance', except they never act that way, they just mope.

So, yeah, people falling out tends to have this effect, and I'm still glad the end of term is near, but the desire to make people feel guilty and sorry for me is gone, because I don't deserve it. Basically, everyone has a lot of shit to deal with right now, and i don't. occiosnally I convince myself I do, since technically various situations bear a similarity to mine, but I'm not that fussed, whereas everyone else is. It doesn't bother me that the people I fancy don't fancy me, and that they have no problem starting long discussions with me about who they do fancy. Too used to it, I guess.

All just so emotionally draining, you know? Except, then I go and get all emotional, so I guess not. And less than six hours sleep? Oh boy ^_^ If people fall out today, I may well give them a piece of my mind. I'm lad I don't go in first thing, so people have a chance to make up before I get there.

two days to go. Two days to go... Except, since I'm not intending to turn up on Friday: one day to go, one day to go...


(no subject)

9/6/03 11:55 am
minervasolo: (insignificance)
I really need to come to a concluysion about my birthday. I toyed, briefly, with the idea of one of those murder mystery parties last night. No. Then cinema, but not only are there no films out I want to see, there's no films out that all my friends would want to see. Then I thought perhaps I could have people from school over on Friday night, and possibly go out for lunch on Sunday with friends who couldn't make it to that. That's the most plausible so far, but it's a lot of organisation and could get rather expensive, plus I'd be shattered by the time MOnday, my actual birthday, rolled around.

I have two problems: no matter when i organise something for, someone on't be able to come, and no matter what I organise, someone won't enjoy it. I'm an emotional sponge, if someon's feeling down I feel just as down. And no matter what I organise, at some point someone's going to get a little bored, or upset, or depressed...

Basically, I'd rather not have a birthday at all. I already feel a year older than I am, by dint of being the youngest in my group of friends. There's nothing I want, so presents aren't a motivation. I've gone off cake at the moment, mum's on a diet anyway and my sister's got ATC (Air Training Crops) on the night of my bday anyway. I don't particularly want to learn to drive. Really, why bother?

I feel like being a complete bitch lately. It's aprt of this whole feeling-sorry-for-myself skit. If I'm a bitch, no one will lik me, and I'll be justified in feeling martyred, except it would be self-inflicted so I wouldn't. Needless to say, I don't have it in me. I smile and make nice to everyone, even if I can't stand their company. ANd I like nearly everyone any way, so moot point.

On Holly's (Anria's sister, either step or ahlf, I can't remember) Birthday, we held her a surprise party. Twas fun, but I think i'd go nuts if eople did the same for me. All the same problems as holding one myself, but guilt for not haivng gone to hte effort to organise a party myself. What really bugged me at the time was fJ's constant repetition of 'if you have a party I'll have more money to spend on your present', which (and I know she never meant it this way) sounds a bit crass, as if she were saying 'if you don't have a party you'll get a cheap and nasty present'. I don't think it occured to her that it occasionally came across that way, but it felt like she was pressurizing H into having a party which perhaps she didn't want. She was very grateful ofr the surprise arty though, so all good in the end. The point of this paragraph would be that if J tried the same on me and I'm still in this kind of mood when I see her I might just tell her what I think, which I don't want to because I know she has absolutely no idea that it sounds like that.

If I do something for my bday, it won't be because other people want me to. That much I know. IRL I probably won't even mention it.

Of course, when my mood improves I'll probably be all gung ho for parties galore, but I doubt it. Now, i have to go and clean, because darling mother is paying me to, and she eeds the computer to work. Money good.

minervasolo: (evil)
I love my friends.

I really wanna leave it at that, but I feel the need to point out that this isn't a sudden inspriation, it's something I realise every day. PLus it sounds really cheesy.

Each time I hold a conversation with one or see another smile, it makes me really happy because i'm a pessimist, and I set out each morning expecting to be overlooked and ignored, and for all of them to be very depressed. And they're all great people, so this never happens. Well, they do tend towards the depressive, which I usually end up distancing myself from because I don't have the faintest idea what's going on (I live in my own little oblivious world) but try and be comforting in a gneneralised sort of way.

Oh yeah, and we're all total geeks! I like this. The fact it took the realisation that my interest that separates me from my friends and gives me some sembance of indivuality is Star Wars and the fact I'm a member of loads of SW forums pretty much told me this. T mentioned that she thinks loads of her friends on the Peru trip think she's a geek as well. A bunch of us had a really long and involved conversation about comics earlier today which would have made no sense to anyone but us. If i go by my sister's judgement, Anria, R and I are all geeks for being into anime... Yup, we're the geeky ones. And we have so much more fun than those people that go out of their way to be cool. We can walk without breaking our ankles due to 6 inch heels, for a start!

I'm a terrible conformist, and life's so much easier when hte people I'm conforming with have the same likes as me. I can listen to my crap music (okay, they think it's crap too, but I've developed some sense of self-esteem whilst hanging out wiht these people), watch random anime and talk about the Star Wars EU and have them join in! Wooo!
minervasolo: (dark)
Self indulgent Whining )

Roz is so pretty. Her hair is grogeous! mH remembers nothing about party, so much teasing. Apparantly T and I looked worse being watched, if that makes any sense. mJ is convinced I fancy T.


(no subject)

26/4/03 01:14 pm
minervasolo: (think)
If only T fancied girls and I fancied T.


and the rest of last night... )

And that's enough of that.

People have been beta readin! Sweet people!
minervasolo: (Default)
If I'd come on here last night you would now be looking at several very depressive ranting posts. Aren't you glad I was way too tired?

Went to a friend's party last night. Original intention was to stay over, but there were too many people and I was shattered and had ceased to feel great. Not just alcohol, of which I actually drank very little, not just heat and noise, but emotional overload.

The remainder of the rant )

Oo, we're having big family gathering over Easter. Should be fun, seeing various cousins and their babies and lots of aunts and grandparents and stuff. Yup. Looking forwards to hols. Only one week to go. Ought to be doing hw, but might save most of that for tomorrow. And Grand Prix. Like those. ^_^

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