Low Self Esteem Day
27/5/03 01:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
minervasoloI blame being very very tired and knowing that my sister's friends are going to outnumber mine considerably. They're all nice people, but I don't think most of them like me. I have nothing in common with any of them, but then, I don't have much in common with most of my friends either. I know i have a weird taste in music, but I overheard one of them use the phrase 'she's so retarded' and I'm 90% certain they were talking about me. I know another one of them also thinks I'm boring. It's ike the yr8s at GHS who made snarky commetns about my clothes. I know I like them, and I know other people don't, but it's till not pleasent to hear these things vocalised.
I sounded really angsty about all this, but I'm not, honest. I don't really care what my sister's friends think, it's just I'm going to have to spend an evening with them. And as pointed out, I'm haveing a low self esteem day, so it would be nice if I didn't feel like a total freak.
Also, had the follow up appointment to my blood test. Conclusion: htere's nothing wrong with me. I'd been preparing myself for bad news, but no news is worse. I know damn well there's something wrong with me, and i don't care if thetsts show normal. The fact they show normal is even more worrying, in many ways. So got to go back for more bloodtests. In the summer. So, that will be about nine months after my periods stopped, right? I'm not pregnant, but this seems to be getting just a little extreme, yes? Grrr.
Again with hte overtired. Haven't had a full night's sleep for five days now, for various reasons. I meant to go to bed early last night, since tonight promises to be a very late night, but Indiana Jones and the History of the Sitcom kept me up til midnight. So now shattered. Would have slept in, but doctor's appointment was at 8:50.
My life is not all doom and gloom. Good things: someone on BMB board pictors thread telling me I was lovely and so pretty. That makes me smile ust thinking about it. Very god for the esteem, that was. Secondly, Sophie's coming tonight. I haven't seen her since long before Easter. So, people I know are coming: Soph, Anira, J&S. People I know aren't coming: Gene. People I have yet to hear from: Roz, Rosie, Tor.
Yunno, I might go and try to nap before tonight. I won't be grumpy overtired, but I will be lethargic and possibly emotional, though I can generally keep a lid on that. Don't know what sleepy+alcohol will do though.
oh yeah, and the cleaner's coming round at 9:30 tomorrow. At some point this week I have to go t bed at about 6. It's the only solution.
ttfn
I sounded really angsty about all this, but I'm not, honest. I don't really care what my sister's friends think, it's just I'm going to have to spend an evening with them. And as pointed out, I'm haveing a low self esteem day, so it would be nice if I didn't feel like a total freak.
Also, had the follow up appointment to my blood test. Conclusion: htere's nothing wrong with me. I'd been preparing myself for bad news, but no news is worse. I know damn well there's something wrong with me, and i don't care if thetsts show normal. The fact they show normal is even more worrying, in many ways. So got to go back for more bloodtests. In the summer. So, that will be about nine months after my periods stopped, right? I'm not pregnant, but this seems to be getting just a little extreme, yes? Grrr.
Again with hte overtired. Haven't had a full night's sleep for five days now, for various reasons. I meant to go to bed early last night, since tonight promises to be a very late night, but Indiana Jones and the History of the Sitcom kept me up til midnight. So now shattered. Would have slept in, but doctor's appointment was at 8:50.
My life is not all doom and gloom. Good things: someone on BMB board pictors thread telling me I was lovely and so pretty. That makes me smile ust thinking about it. Very god for the esteem, that was. Secondly, Sophie's coming tonight. I haven't seen her since long before Easter. So, people I know are coming: Soph, Anira, J&S. People I know aren't coming: Gene. People I have yet to hear from: Roz, Rosie, Tor.
Yunno, I might go and try to nap before tonight. I won't be grumpy overtired, but I will be lethargic and possibly emotional, though I can generally keep a lid on that. Don't know what sleepy+alcohol will do though.
oh yeah, and the cleaner's coming round at 9:30 tomorrow. At some point this week I have to go t bed at about 6. It's the only solution.
ttfn
