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22/8/04 09:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
minervasolo"Naturally, the common people don't want war. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along... Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." -- Hermann Goering; Commander of the Luftwaffe, before being sentenced to death at Nuremberg [The Nuremberg Trials in 1946]
Fliched from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shinkastar because she pointed it out to me in our first IM conversation and I completely thought it was someone in Bush's government.
I had an 18 hour day yesterday. Went to Bruge. Absolutely most georgous city I've ever seen, and full of chocolate nad lace. So I have lots of Belgium chocolate to keep me happy for a while ^_^
www.spoilerslayer.com is closing down. That's one of the few sites on the favourites list that I've had since about year 8, when I first discovered fandom and the like. Not the first site that got me hooked on spoilers, but one of the first. Pity He's not even keeping that archives up, even the really old ones (i.e. Buffy and Angel).
This bit isn't meant to be passive aggressive. It isn't meant to be aggressive at all. I want to comment on something here, and maybe there, but people will assume I'm (a) hurt or (b) defensive, neither of which are true. Mostly, as usual, I'm amused. People don't know me, through no fault of their own. I misrepresent myself on here, I misrepresent myself in real life.
It's not something I can allude to without people knowing damn well what I'm on about, and it's something I've been meaning to murble about anyway. I like making little sellf-observatons on here and dissecting my own personality. When I'm in a bad mood I can do it for hours. I seem to have a never ending list of faults (and don't tell me I don't, because I do and I could list them and you couldn't sincerely aruge with them).
Look, I don't judge people on intelligence. Ever. I know people probably think I do, which is why I avoid giving out thing like exam results and play it all down, especially when it's something important. 90% of the time when I judge someone it's on looks. I'm really very shallow. It's not that if I don't like the way someone looks I won't like them, but I know it's something that always gets in the way of objectivity for me. I've been working on it for years, since about year seven. I looked at a girl and thought "Wow, I'd hate to be her. No wonder those guys at the disco wound her up. She's got a huge bum." We went on to be great friends.
I judge people I don't know well by their looks. Not friends. Seriously, would I want to hang out with people just because they're pretty? I'd be bored out of my mind. When i don't know someone well, that's when it happens. And, I think, I don't judge people negatively any more. I didn't think I did at all, until someone I knew and didn't hugely like appeared one day looking stunning, and I found myself much more positively inclined towards them. Horrified with myself, but that's what happened.
The weird thing is, I don't believe there is such a thing as 'ugly'. So I don't really know how that works. I also don't beleive in 'stupidity'. There's ignorance, and there's misunderstanding, and there's learning disorders, but I don't believe in stupidity.
On the other hand, I am arrogant. I know I'm intelligent and in most circumstances I'm not afraid of that. I don't take criticism well. I'm convinced I'm a good writer, even when I look at what I've written and know it's terrible. I'm convinced I'm a good drawer, even when I know I can't show things to people without having faults politely pointed out. I had a childhood of compliments over things I know weren't good, which is why I don't like compliments now except from people I don't know well. I just don't believe compliments. I'm very possessive of my work, and won't show to other people unless I (a) want the criticism to make it better or (b) think I won't get any. For (a) I have to be convined you're better at whatever than me. (b) Only really applies to strangers, otherwise we're back in teh not believing the compliments thing.
This is why I like maths, I guess. You're wrong or you're right. No need to worry about tastes or aestheticism or people telling you they like it when they don't.
I could go on, but if I keep this up I'm going to go into everything, and I'm wearing myself out. My amusement has waned and (probably as a result of the too long day on top of frequent too short nights) I'm depressing myself. I do that when I self analyse. Yes, this was sparked by a remark about something in my personality I ought to change which isn't there to start with, but this is also all stuff I've been composing in my head for a while. If summer continues this stressful, you will get other such delightful self-analytical rants as 'my father's death' and 'I can't emoional commit to anyone'. And as with everything on here, it's one hundred percent true as I write it and one hundred percent false after I've posted it. I narrate my life in my head and I swear I fictionalise it as I go along. I write myself OOC (out of character).
God, I do go on a bit, don't I? That was meant to be one paragraph tops. You can tell I've not had the sleep i need recently.
Anyway, now I've got to go and panick fill in York stuff before work. And I'm working tomorrow as well. It would be nice to just have two consecutive days off, you know? Two days of not having to go anywhere.
Fliched from
shinkastar because she pointed it out to me in our first IM conversation and I completely thought it was someone in Bush's government.I had an 18 hour day yesterday. Went to Bruge. Absolutely most georgous city I've ever seen, and full of chocolate nad lace. So I have lots of Belgium chocolate to keep me happy for a while ^_^
www.spoilerslayer.com is closing down. That's one of the few sites on the favourites list that I've had since about year 8, when I first discovered fandom and the like. Not the first site that got me hooked on spoilers, but one of the first. Pity He's not even keeping that archives up, even the really old ones (i.e. Buffy and Angel).
This bit isn't meant to be passive aggressive. It isn't meant to be aggressive at all. I want to comment on something here, and maybe there, but people will assume I'm (a) hurt or (b) defensive, neither of which are true. Mostly, as usual, I'm amused. People don't know me, through no fault of their own. I misrepresent myself on here, I misrepresent myself in real life.
It's not something I can allude to without people knowing damn well what I'm on about, and it's something I've been meaning to murble about anyway. I like making little sellf-observatons on here and dissecting my own personality. When I'm in a bad mood I can do it for hours. I seem to have a never ending list of faults (and don't tell me I don't, because I do and I could list them and you couldn't sincerely aruge with them).
Look, I don't judge people on intelligence. Ever. I know people probably think I do, which is why I avoid giving out thing like exam results and play it all down, especially when it's something important. 90% of the time when I judge someone it's on looks. I'm really very shallow. It's not that if I don't like the way someone looks I won't like them, but I know it's something that always gets in the way of objectivity for me. I've been working on it for years, since about year seven. I looked at a girl and thought "Wow, I'd hate to be her. No wonder those guys at the disco wound her up. She's got a huge bum." We went on to be great friends.
I judge people I don't know well by their looks. Not friends. Seriously, would I want to hang out with people just because they're pretty? I'd be bored out of my mind. When i don't know someone well, that's when it happens. And, I think, I don't judge people negatively any more. I didn't think I did at all, until someone I knew and didn't hugely like appeared one day looking stunning, and I found myself much more positively inclined towards them. Horrified with myself, but that's what happened.
The weird thing is, I don't believe there is such a thing as 'ugly'. So I don't really know how that works. I also don't beleive in 'stupidity'. There's ignorance, and there's misunderstanding, and there's learning disorders, but I don't believe in stupidity.
On the other hand, I am arrogant. I know I'm intelligent and in most circumstances I'm not afraid of that. I don't take criticism well. I'm convinced I'm a good writer, even when I look at what I've written and know it's terrible. I'm convinced I'm a good drawer, even when I know I can't show things to people without having faults politely pointed out. I had a childhood of compliments over things I know weren't good, which is why I don't like compliments now except from people I don't know well. I just don't believe compliments. I'm very possessive of my work, and won't show to other people unless I (a) want the criticism to make it better or (b) think I won't get any. For (a) I have to be convined you're better at whatever than me. (b) Only really applies to strangers, otherwise we're back in teh not believing the compliments thing.
This is why I like maths, I guess. You're wrong or you're right. No need to worry about tastes or aestheticism or people telling you they like it when they don't.
I could go on, but if I keep this up I'm going to go into everything, and I'm wearing myself out. My amusement has waned and (probably as a result of the too long day on top of frequent too short nights) I'm depressing myself. I do that when I self analyse. Yes, this was sparked by a remark about something in my personality I ought to change which isn't there to start with, but this is also all stuff I've been composing in my head for a while. If summer continues this stressful, you will get other such delightful self-analytical rants as 'my father's death' and 'I can't emoional commit to anyone'. And as with everything on here, it's one hundred percent true as I write it and one hundred percent false after I've posted it. I narrate my life in my head and I swear I fictionalise it as I go along. I write myself OOC (out of character).
God, I do go on a bit, don't I? That was meant to be one paragraph tops. You can tell I've not had the sleep i need recently.
Anyway, now I've got to go and panick fill in York stuff before work. And I'm working tomorrow as well. It would be nice to just have two consecutive days off, you know? Two days of not having to go anywhere.
