(no subject)

20/3/08 08:29 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
Which JF account should I pay for? The one I've already got, or the one I'm going to create to replace [livejournal.com profile] femmedelalune?

I've created a new paid account on JournalFen, femmedelalune, to replace the lj version. If anyone wants a basic account, I'll shortly have two going, [livejournal.com profile] femmedelalune and "[livejournal.com profile] plotting.




Just got a wonderful text from my mother (it's her birthday, and she's in Egypt):

Ta for cards. Sunny staying in big country house palms pool dogs bats birds banquets.amazing!mum

That's... succinct!

(no subject)

4/10/07 07:04 pm
minervasolo: (Marilyn)
My mum was just on national telly. More people scamming gran stuff, but really, wasn't expecting to look up and see her like that!

(no subject)

23/12/05 10:44 am
minervasolo: (Default)
I may have mentioned this last time, but while here I call York home, and in York I call here home. Also, this house is big. I hadn't really noticed this before.

The journey was pretty good. It reminded me why I like trains. Spent most of the York-London trip chatting to the couple opposite and the girl nextto me. I like being able to connect with strangers, briefly. You're so insulated in a car. And there's the whole "concentrate on driving" thing I never got on well with.

Everything's moved about. Mum lent my room to people, so while it's very tidy now, it's also missing most of my stuff. It looks like most of it is in my pyjama drawer, of all places. This keyboard's all stiff, too, which I'm not appreciating.

My main irritation is going to be other people, I can tell. I prefer to work in the living room, but as long as I'm there people are going to try and stop me getting on with anything. Which means never coming out of my room. I don't really have time to be sociable. We've already established I'll be reading course books on Christmas day, and I'll probably growl at anyone who tries to stop me because they're quite good books. Until gran leaves, I'm going to be really short of Internet access, since she's sleeping in the office. This computer is dying a death, which doesn't help, and Harry is still convinced he has more right to get online than I do. I'm really going to miss accesson my laptop. It may make the essay easier, but it means the magazine's going to end up last minute. Urgh.

Still, I made it, which is always a good start, and I'm not here for long. I shall try and see people while I'm around, but there's no guarentees, except maybe New Year's Eve, though I've got no clue what's happening or where. I'm notreally appreciating the fact that I'm barely going to be at home for most of this holiday as it is.

(no subject)

28/6/05 04:35 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
I had the most violent dream I've ever had last night. I figure it was probably stress related.

dream )

The stress that may have caused this was manyfold. There was the box I shouldn't have borrowed (and have now returned), the fact that for a short period the house was empty and we may have missed the washing machine delivery (we hadn't, and it's all installed now), and that I needed to call about the TV license but didn't have the license number.

Once all of that was sorted I felt much better, the silver lining of stress, and went out and spent far too much money on sun stuff and random food, including starbucks. The Writer'sSoc social was brilliant. The restuarant is gorgeous, the food was great and it really is a very reasonable price. And their house white is delicious. And their mints ^_^

so now my stress comes form my family )

And now teh sun has come out agian, I shall head home!

(no subject)

9/3/05 10:35 pm
minervasolo: (detective)
Ah, a reason not to look forwards to Easter. My sister's mates. I've known Ben for years, dated him briefly: he's a complete prtwat. Clo's boyf has just been asking questions I was deeply unimpressed with. I'm still happy with my sister (Happy Birthday to her, coincidentally) but suddenly I can see myself dragging Chris out of the house a lot. I don't like the local pubs, but Clo's mates tend to gravitate to our place and if I have a guest I can't just lock myself in the office. Not that they don't follow me up there and talk to me, failing to get the hint entirely.

My sister's mates, those that visit a lot, are invariably a bunch of useless stoners. Her college friends are fine, but I spent enough of Christmas locking myself away from Ben and co. I'm not a person who likes going out, and I don't particularly want to spend time in a pub surrounded by people my parents' age. I've stopped caring what they think when I go to bed at 10 to avoid them. Now, must find new alternatives. I don't want to hang out with Chris upstairs and have a bunch of stoned prats making stupid comments outside the door. I don't want us to be forced out the house (it's far too expensive). I don't think I want to spend much time with them, no more than one night max.

I am glad I don't live at home any more. It grates. It's nice having good food and easy access to a washing machine and a big selection of DVDs and stuff to watch. I just want to remove everyone else from the scenario ^_^ I get on with my mum, but having moved out I find her more irritating than I used to. I've just got used to my freedom and independence. And having everywhere I want to go in walking distance. That I miss, especially when I want to escape. And having both TV and internet in my room. And my own friends available without forty minute journeys.

Guh. Before I left I was looking forwards to going, but not for any negative reasons. Now it's much easier to find negative reasons not to go back. If people want to see me, they'll just have to visit here.

(no subject)

9/3/05 09:40 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
Watching Jamie's School Dinners again, which means another rant. You know kids are getting so constpiated on fast food diets they're throwing up shit? Literally?

Anyway, did the food rant. Instead, something more appropriate to mother's day, really.

Okay, being a single mother. It's tough. I don't question that. You need the ultimate in organisational skills, especially if it's a young kid.

Personally, I beleive the key is discipline. You can't spoil a child when you're short on money. You can't let them get away with everything if you're not there to pick up the pieces. You can't do everything for them when they're going to have to be independent later in life.

My father died of cancer when I was six, and my sister four. Obviously, my mother was grief sticken. Two weeks later, her father died, also of cancer (which he had been fighting for six years).

That's tough, and you can't tell me otherwise. My sister and I didn't see it, though. I can't tell you if that was a good or bad thing, but I do know my mother couldn't afford to go to pieces. I'm not sure if she had returned to work, or had been about to, but she hadn't worked at all while she had kids at home. So that's two kids at infant school, a bereaved mother to support, low/no income.

For the first thing, we always had healthy food. Pizza and ribena were what our friends ate at home, friends with both parents. No cheap food. No microwave food. No fast food.

She worked, though she always picked us up from school. No nannies or au pairs, though occasionally family and friends. My father's death had paid off our mortgage (I'm not sure if that was the mortage or the will), which obviously helped a lot, but there was still all the other bills and expenses. I never noticed being short of anything. We never seemed to get less Christmas presents than our friends, or lacked in any way. I don't doubt that she went short herself on several occasions, but I think a lot of it was good economising. Simply, we weren't spoilt. When you get used to not getting everything you ask for, you only ask for what you really want, and your parents know you're serious about wanting it. I never threw a tantrum, though my sister did a few times. Not, I think, over any material things. Usually it was not wanting to walk any more, or go to bed, or after a fight with me.

That's another thought - walks. We went for lots of walks. Around the village, and out in parks and woods further afield. We never went to theme parks or anything like that. Holidays were spent with family, going for walks in a new place. This wasn't a single mother thing though - this was my mother inflicting her childhood on us, which she'd been doing since we were old enough to stick in a buggy and wander around the Arboretum. I can recognise a lot of different plants and animals. I can't match my mum, but I'm better than I lot of people I know, which I didn't realise at the time. I was shocked to find out one of my flatmates couldn't tell the difference between a male and female mallard.

Okay, so that's money and food. What else? Well, she went to University as a mature student. I even went with her one day. She started a relationship that entered it's tenth year in 2004. She's moved through several successful careers: office help, yoga teacher, conference organiser, and soon holistic therapist. Her degree, randomly, was in History of Ideas, which relates to none of them, but she enjoyed it immensely. I remember helping her print out her 40 page dissertation.

Neither myself nor my sister went off the rails, which I think is important. Being a single parent does not excuse terrible kids. I'm definitely the 'good' one of us, but Clo's hardly a bad girl. She may like the look, but she's not so rebellious at heart. Clo's dyslexic, which mum helped with and fought for her to get special needs help, especially in exams. She paid for me to go to a private all girl's school to further my education (I was on an assisted place, which shows that money still wasn't easy). Neither of us ever went short of anything, neither of us were ever spoilt. The other girls in my year got £40 a month. I got £2 a week. The difference wasn't obvious.

Both Chloe and I were considerably better off than a lot of our peers, in several ways. Certainly, my sister knows a lot of kids from really tough family backgrounds. We weren't short on money, thanks to the government, my father's provisions, and my mother's hard work. Our mother made a point of being at home as much ass possible when we were, always cooking a proper meal and spending time with us. I know some people can't afford to do that, which is fair enough. I do think there are alternatives which don't involve strangers or no one at all.

Harry was probably the main force of discipline, once he came into our lives, but I don't remember any problems before that. He came in rather gradually, since he kept having to go and work in Wales and the like. He was certianly far stricter than mum, but my sister tended to get the worst of it due to her sulks. He trained her out of that. Mostly. ^_^

I think it was organisation that pulled us all through. Mum worked out her life so she was always around, but still managed to bring in enough money to keep things 'as normal'. A lot of people try to relocate blame when their familes aren't like the perfect ones on tv. It's the kid's friends, or TV, or the departed significant other. It's not their own absence, or tendency to be weak willed, or laziness. Yes, being a single mother is tough. It's not impossible.

So hearhear for single mums, mine in particular.

(no subject)

8/7/04 05:29 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
So, Chloe left the confirmation of her flight home from Newquay on her bedroom floor. They don't give you tickets for incountry flights, so it was all she had to prove she had paid for the flight. Mum is furious, because this is hardly unusual, and now means someone will very likely have to go to Newquay to pick her up. It's a six hour drive.

Alternately, we could make her catch a train and pay for it out of her own pocket. I'll go suggest that.

Bits of Significant Kinks are online now. Not all are working yet, or completed, but still, it's something.

(no subject)

8/7/04 09:46 am
minervasolo: (Default)
year I was born thing )

Well, that seems mostly American. But approriate for birthday. I had no idea I was the same age as teh Olsen twins. Scary.

So, birthday. Spent day at Forest Mere health farm. Brilliant. Manicure, epdicure, massage and facial, plus random Iridology, which is looking at your eyes to determine genetic strengths adn weaknesses. Pretty accurate, considering what I know about myself so far. And very interesting. If I start attacking people's faces with a magnifying glass, that's what I'm doing. Anyway, spent day in towelling robe (mostly) and got taken for a walk by random Dog.

Then, Shrek2. Shrek gets fit, which is scary. Harry booked tickets for 16:40, instead of 6:40pm, so we technically arrived two hours late ^_^ Got in anyway, and missed the adverts neatly. Then to Wagamamas for dinner. Very long day. Didn't get to open most of my presents until past 10 o'clock. Stayed up to watch RedDwarf, and was woken at 6 by Harry this morning. ^_^

So, laptop came without Office. May borrow copies from this computer, or may save to buy just the programs I want (Word and Frontpage). Also does not appear to have any way of getting stuff off it, i.e. a floppy drive or a CD-R drive. Hmm. Still, shiny and new. Also got an MP3 player, which is baffling mother. And received a ridiculous amount of university stuff. Makes me regret having a summer birthday a bit. Three cooking books, plastic mugs, a suitcase. Though still, useful, and my sister made me a personalised mug and plate that I honestly thought were professionally done, so much love to her in Newquay.

I spend today tidying up ^_^ And playing with laptop, naturally.

(no subject)

12/4/04 10:30 am
minervasolo: (Default)
So I cried. )

Anyway, we never really row in this house. No raised voices, no hard feelings, no grudges. The tears are unfortunarte, and I'mbeginning to suspect some cleaning-related row when I was small, or something.

Mum had an amusing dream last night ^_^ She dreamt she was a ninja yoga teacher employed by the Russian government. Love her, and her dreams.

and my dream too! )

And now more Psychology, and then maybe a barbeque. Oh, and more swearing at episode 25, which has once again quit part way through, and the 'skip 10k off the end' thing only served to make it allow people to send it to me, but not me to receive. So we're deleteing and starting again.

(no subject)

1/2/04 04:09 pm
minervasolo: (dark)
Driving makes me cry.

Both times I've been out with people other than my instructor I've ended up crying. And my nose swells up when i cry, which doesn't help because I look in a mirror and suddenly want to cry even more.

And everyone is insistant i need practice. I'm not confidant enough yet to do things like roundabouts without my instructor. I'm happy on my local little narrow bendy roads, but mum and harry aren't happy letting me practise on those. Too dangerous. So i have to practise on the busy wide A roads full of junctions and rounadbouts.

See, just thinking about it again is making my eyes heat up and my nose hurt. Part resentment part frustration, part really really not wanting to do it.

And i didn't get any physics done, or get Anria's present (which will be gone by the time I get there), or do any writing. I've spent the day crying and being driven to Tescos. Joy.

(no subject)

11/1/04 10:01 am
minervasolo: (Default)
shopping )

hooligans )

And now I am tired. Shattered finsihed last night, so no more soporiphic viewing of very tired people. We're going to see The Last Samurai today, of which i have heard mixed reports. Heh, it's an excuse to wear my new coat.

(no subject)

11/8/03 08:03 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
My sister is a twit. She's been back barely two days, and already her room is a tip. She complians that mum has been nagging her. It took mum hours to get it all cleared up while she was away, and I don't think she even noticed. Mum even hung up all of Clo's ATC uniform, and trust me, there's a lot. Clo is a corporal now, and she's supposed to be punctual. If she sisn't, she loses her rank. Evey single week she's late, because she simply isn't ready. She knows it takes her at least an nhour to iron her clothes adn find everything, without any distractions, but she always leaves herself about half an hour and tries to watch the Simpsons as she gets ready. This week, she forgot most of her gear and swore at mum when she reminded her. Her friends are lying for her to keep her out of trouble. Idiot child! She's been rude and grumpy all day, as if she's been given all the hardwork to do. Shes been away all week - she can't exactly complain i'm doing less than her when hse has no idea how much i've been doing.

As I said, idiot child.

One of the WHsmiths near us has been redesigned. I want to live there. Ah, gorgeous! I love Smiths normlly, but right now? ah! They've trimmed the SciFi and Fantasy section down to just two shelves though, which is annoying. On hte plus, I managed to buy a CD I didn't really like. That's a plus? Well, it was money off if you bought two magazines as well (really random offer, that) and I had two comics and a magazine. The till didn't take the money off, so the guy did it by hand. Took off the price of the CD, and went to add the dscounted price. Excpet he took that off as well, so instead of paying £19 overall I paid £8. ^_^ And I got new sandals! Finally, new sandals that don't rub! It's only taken three years (and four pairs of sandals).

Time goes very very quickly. i thought it was 7, now it's 8. ttfn
minervasolo: (Default)
I spent the last tenmintues discussing homosexuality with my mother, in an abstract way, of course. This discussion was brought on by the 'viewing public's reaction to the Tara/Willow scenes in Buffy. General opinion: it should be on so much later. Of course, fans of the show have been telling BBC that for years.

...Going off topic. Basically, my mother completely contradicted herself. She doesn't think homosexuality should be promoted as 'normal' in case kids make up their minds too early. Apart from hte fact I think this is extrememly unlikely to happen, she went on to say she thinks it's something out of our control and determined biologoically. See the contradiction? If it's purely biologoical, how can presenting the view that being gay is totally acceptable affect whether a kid grows up gay or not? If it can, then surely it's not a biologoical thing. For the record: she's not a homophobe. She's totally accepting of gay people, she just doesn't think homosexuality should be shown as 'acceptable'. Another contradiction, i know. Basically, it's okay to be gay as long as no one influenced the decision which is pretty much true.

It's the generation gap. It's getting slowly more tangible. I feel the same way when she starts making generalisation about 'the muslims' etc. I think my generation just has this fear of being seen as prejudiced. It's good to be accepting. Mum pointed out that if it prevents people discussingcertain issues, then it's not, but I don't think there are any issues. More blackpeople commit car crime than white in a certain area of London? There are more black people living in that area. Most racial generalisations, especially about crime, are due to hte fact that due to milleniae of prejudice most people of that race are much poorer. The only problemt is wehn people use their race as an excuse, e.g. "she called me a bitch because I'm black!", when in fact she called you a bitch because you're a bitch!

I wonder what my mother's reaction to my love of yaoi and slash would be? Even better, what would she say about my crush on Anria? ^_^

(no subject)

10/5/03 07:58 pm
minervasolo: (Default)
Yunno, i think I'm going to keep both the moon and the pink. I can't be bothered to change the pink now, though i may at a later date, and the moon is just too 'me'.

Sister gone out with friends. L asked me if I'd be okay with it if she asked my sister out. I have no probem with that, thought part of me doesn't really believe my sister is bisexual. It's like when she was a vegeatrian - her friends became vegetarian and my sister was suddenly very edicated to the cause and stoped eating meat. It last about a year, then she dropped it. It's not so much a peer pressure thing, she's quite capable of holding her own, but so many of her freinds are bisexual i can't help but have my doubts. Still, L is an amazingly sweet girl, so no objections.

Still getting used to this backround. Someone comment and tell me how dire this combination looks!

ttfn
minervasolo: (Default)
I had such a great day yesterday. After much morning on the net, went on long walk up our local hill. I've been going up there since I was about one. Discovered that mum actually walked up there in labour with my sister. ^_^ I knew she was nuts, but that's got to be one of the best I've heard.

So, wandered about on top of hill, decided to defintely have a picnic up there for my birthday, no matter who complains about having to walk all the way to the top from my house because evil woman who owns the land around the bottom doesn't wnat anyone going up there because they have to cross her land. Walked down again. Discovered that when mum went up there last time she climbed the climby trees'on her own. ^_^ There are many reasons I love my mother, but it's things like that which make me adore her. She also believed in fairies as a child and put out food for them.

So, got to bottom again, hearing wedding bels and trying to plan where I would get married (yes, aware that in my last post I was griping about not having a boyfriend...) and we were walking across a bridge as suddenly, in the river, a shape. It swam. It climbed onto the bank. It ran. It was either an otter or a mink!!! It looked more like a mink, according to mum, who knows these things, but they have released otters into a river that joins ours, so hoping! Squee! Otters so cool! Yay!

Other good things that hapened that day - got to spend about three hours sitting in hte garden in the sun reading a magazine. Watched new Buffy videos, because gran records them off sy so we're the only people with terrestiral who know what hapens in s7. Bought some books. Wrote some stories.

On that note, since writin fanfiction al my characters keep turning gay. Started one, had no idea what the charactes wree going to be like, apart from probably not in it much, and suddenly they're snogging. Cue much 'huh'ing and 'hmm'ing. And now I've decided to kill one, about fifteen chapters on from now, for plot reasons. I've got to get out of the habit of believeing that good books have resonating deaths from which THE CHARACTERS DON'T COME BACK. I'm not the only one that bugs, am I?

Today, it is no longer sunny. However, since I have loads of work to do, this is a good thing. Plus, Grand Prix this afternoon, which I enjoy. Yesterday morning I wrote myself into a rant, and was only prevented from making myself completely depressed by hte weather. Today, in hteory the weather ought to leave me a bit down, but I'm writing in a really positive mood.

ttfn

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